I'm in a relationship

By Joey Driven

February 1, 2011

I’m in a relationship.  Been going well, too.  Started slow.  Started talkin’… with myself.  “I’m a Virgo,” I told myself.  “Hey…, me too,” I replied.  Soon, I was going on that first date.  Know what I’m sayin’?  I did my laundry, laid out some clothes, buzzed my hair…, showered.  Dating myself is an idea I must’a’ thought of once; after all, I do occasionally buy myself a box of chocolates, like around Valentines Day.

Back around 1990, there was a resurgence in Jazz.  Being a songwriter and having had a driving need to get a more developed ear for Jazz, I would go out alone to night clubs to listen intently and write down ideas.  We didn’t have to talk much, we knew what the other was thinking.  It was unencumbered by time or the responsibility to meet the wishes of another companion.  I was my companion.  I started going out with myself… and liking it so much that, after a few fun dates, it was sealed.  I and myself were going steady.

One thing though…, back then, I was intensely married, so if I did consider that as dating, then maybe I would have been guilt-racked that I was having an affair with… myself.  Instead, I saw my going out alone as simply being alone, doing some, uh…, musicological research.

It is now twenty years later, 2011.  I’m 53 and into my early Triassic Epoch…, still legally married though the mother of my kids and I are mutually-strange and separated since 2000.  (What do you think, is that how I should reveal my marital status to myself?)

A few Saturday nights ago, rather than go somewhere familiar and with a buddy, I went out alone and I did something different.  I took myself to The Comedy Connection, a local comedy night club to see a stand up show, headlining awesome April Macie.

It wasn’t in my mind that I was on a date with myself.  If a woman threw herself at me and I was attracted, I would’ve been a goner.  In other words, if conscious that I was on a date with myself, I would have gladly left myself for the woman.

Instead, I drank a small pitcher of Blue Moon, goofed on the host, goofed on the opening comedienne, smiled at anyone who smiled at me, goofed on April Macie and goofed on the crowd.  And after the show, I went back into the Comedy Connection to get a bike helmet I had forgotten.  So I got a chance to talk with April a bit because she happened to be standing next to the bar stool I had been sitting on.  I was beside myself.  But myself wasn’t jealous in the least (what was that all about?).

That night I rode back home on my bicycle stoked that I had had such a fun adventure with myself.  And I could tell that myself felt likewise.  And once home and in my room, gee, I mean, wow…; it was official.

Days later a woman-veteran-of-singlehood-friend pointed out to me my recent night out was… “dating myself” and a light bulb went off in my mind.  Hmmmm.  Taking myself out.

My woman-veteran-of-singlehood-friend said taking myself out on a date is a positive thing in my evolution because _while I’m trying to figure out the opposing sex_ I can become comfortable enough in my own skin without having to have had anything else other than a nice time.

Maybe this self-dating thing is something to while the time until I’m swept away by that something else written about in story books.  Maybe not.  I’m giving myself more and more consideration.  I and myself are getting… SERIOUS.

Serious to the point that I had to search-engine “going on a date with myself” and sure enough there they were…, more self-help hoops, my first instructions on how to date myself, come-ons like life-altering Cosmopolitan Magazine headlines:  “What’ll me think”  “About me, myself and I:  is it going to work?  Or is it going to turn into another love triangle?”  “Am I and myself treating each other right?”

Joey Driven is an American lyricist, composer, singer, guitarist, screenwriter, fiction and non-fiction author, and performing artist with furthest star media™.

© 2011, 2014 Joey O'Loingsigh Driven